I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
