It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
