pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Randomize
