i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
