Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Randomize
