i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
It all started with a game of naked twister.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
