she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
Randomize
