who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
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