he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
