I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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