This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
