I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Randomize
