whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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