Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize
