Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
wow bdsm is so cute
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
