you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
