I wish my penis had an off switch
if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
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