There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
Randomize
