If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
