is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
