Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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