He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
