I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
