i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Randomize
