ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
