My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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