And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
