I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Enjoy the penises
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Randomize
