Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Randomize
