you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
So vagazzling was a success
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
Randomize
