im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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