I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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