Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Randomize
