bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
there was a trapeze. enough said
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
