Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
