Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Randomize
