It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Randomize
