when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
