mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
