peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
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