Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
