i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
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