I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
Randomize
