I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
Randomize
