I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Randomize
