i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize
