But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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