ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Randomize
