You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
