i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
Randomize
